Should students (or any of us) be expected to fit in?

Maybe you've been in a situation like this before...

You joined a book club, or went to a conference or party, or started with a new team where you thought you would fit in. You expected and were excited to learn a lot because people said you would -- and because they had. Maybe you expected to meet a lot of cool, interesting people -- or you thought the ideas shared would inspire you and motivate you. Or you expected to connect with people.

And maybe that group or conference just didn't work for you. You were uninspired, or you just didn't fit in with the crowd, or the books they were reading or topics they were discussing or the projects you were working on just didn't interest you. And you felt guilty about it. "Am I missing something?" you might ask yourself. "Am I smart enough? Are my ideas good enough? Do people like me?"

I've been to conferences and meetings and parties where it seemed everyone around me was having a great time and meeting new people and connecting and learning -- and I wasn't. Whether it's the structure of the group, or the mix of personalities, or the learning styles, or just my mood or attitude at the time that wasn't working, I'm never quite sure...

Have you been in a situation like this before?

I think this is a fundamental challenge that schools are facing today -- and have always faced. Kids with varying interests and backgrounds and experiences and opinions come together everyday in every school across America. And what more can we do to make sure every student is getting the education they want, deserve and expect?

I read with great interest the fantastic, epic dialogue between Chris Lehmann and Ira Socol in the comment section of this post Ira wrote after EduCon -- a much buzzed-about conference Chris hosts every year at his school in Philadelphia. Ira had written about how his experience at EduCon did not meet his lofty expectations.

I was struck by the parallels between Ira's own experience at this conference -- and the struggle even the "best" schools have of meeting the needs, interests, learning styles and expectations of every child.

In one comment, Ira wrote:

"As for EduCon, I came because last year I heard these voices. I heard it described as - you know I'm not kidding - some sort of educational Nirvana, and I heard it described as "other" things. Both by people I respect. That kind of dissonance always interests me. It didn't make me want to present - I rarely do that in a first time at any kind of event, I need to read it first, but it made me want to see.

To say that it "didn't work for me" does not imply that it didn't work for others. To say that the environment made me uncomfortable, well, that's the mismatch we so often see in schools. To say that that mismatch sent me back into "hostile student mode" (a mode I've been quite familiar with in my life), is something you understand because you live with kids every day."

This is a topic that interests me greatly -- not just because it speaks to the need for schools, teachers and parents to allow a level of personalization and choice for what kids learn and the interests they pursue, but also because it helps me rationalize challenges I face myself (and I assume others must too) in the "real world" everyday. And I think they're some of the same challenges Ira faced at his conference.

(Photo credit: Flickr photo by carolyntiry)

---Previously On Our Minds:
*Why teaching is about more than just improving a child's test scores
*Why are we all suddenly talking about education?
*What's new in my feeds: QR codes, value-added scores and unemployable students